A Mother’s Lap

Man, motherhood is such a sweet and special thing. As I was putting Quincy to bed tonight she was laying down ready to fall asleep and at the last minute, she said, “Mom, I want to come snuggle with you.”

She climbed up into my lap, covered herself with her blanket and laid her head on my shoulder. We just sat there in silence and snuggled while I prayed over her. These small moments are everything. They keep me going on the really hard days. They remind me just how small she is and just how fleeting time is.

It’s so crazy because I remember when I was pregnant with her, I would sit in her nursery bawling my eyes out because I was so excited to meet her and I couldn’t wait to feel what it would be like to hold her. Just to know and experience that intimacy between mother and child.

And then she was here just a few months old. I was holding her in her room and she would fall asleep on my chest night after night and I found myself bawling again. I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to be her mom and I couldn’t believe how perfect it felt being her mom. I just never wanted to forget how special it felt while she slept on my chest.

Fast forward three years and she barely fits on my lap, her legs hanging off the chair & dangling above the floor. Either way, that’s where she wants to be, my lap. That is where she wants to be before she falls asleep at night. My lap. It is where she wants to eat all of her meals, read all of her books, play with her puzzles, watch a show, anything she wants to do, she wants to do it on my lap. It’s her safe place.

So as she’s sitting on my lap tonight almost falling off the chair because she’s so big, I just sit here and I think how GOOD my God is. He is so incredible to give me the gift of my Quincy Rose. It is something I will never be able to put into words. I will never be to explain how honored I am to be her mom. And I’ll never be able to put into words what it does to my heart when she tells me, “Mom, I want to snuggle with you. I wanna hold you.”

It’s the absolute best feeling in the world. And before I laid her back down to go to sleep I whispered, “I love you” to which she responded, “…so much and more.”

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