Instill & Equip

I’m trying to pinpoint the moment in my childhood when I first felt really self-conscious about my body & the way I looked. I remember thinking in kindergarten how some of the girls in my class were so pretty & how I wish I had their hair or their eye color. But when was it that I REALLY started comparing myself to others? It’s difficult for me to know the exact moment because it feels like forever. When I read that back to myself, it makes me pretty sad.

I’ve struggled my whole life with being confident & content with the way I look. I wish my hair was longer, I wish I had blue eyes instead of brown ones, I wish my thighs didn’t rub together when I wear dresses or shorts, I wish my arms weren’t so big or that my belly didn’t resemble flubber. I mean…I could literally go on & on about all the things I’ve thought about my body and appearance. For goodness sakes, I remember hating my ears growing up because I thought they were too big. It makes me sad to think I spent SO much of my childhood & young adult life being unhappy & frankly, ungrateful for the way the Lord created me.

And I know for a fact, that I’m not the only one who’s struggled with this. I would think it’s probably safe to say EVERY female has felt this way about herself, or been unhappy or embarrassed with the way she looks, at one point or another. Growing up, girls always hear others talk about their appearance. “She’s so cute!”, “How beautiful”, “What a gorgeous girl!” – and while it’s wonderful to appreciate the beauty the Lord created, why don’t we talk MORE about the inward qualities & LESS about the outward appearance.

The way that I speak to Quincy about herself & the way that I talk about Quincy to others, she will carry that with her as she grows up & it will influence how she sees herself, how she talks about herself, how she carries herself. Why would I EVER want her to believe she’s anything less than the beautiful child of God that she is. Jesus created my sweet girl in HIS image. How can that ever be bad? How can that ever be looked at as anything other than perfect?

Jesus made ME
Jesus made my sweet QUINCY ROSE
Jesus made YOU
In HIS image.

If we are enough for Him, why must we feel like we are not enough for ourselves?

I want Quincy to grow up being proud of the way that God made her uniquely her. In order for me to model that for my daughter & future children (God willing), I need to first believe that about myself. I know to be proud of the way God made me, not ashamed. I need to love every stretch mark, every “weakness”, every imperfect part of my body, I need to love it & I need to love it fiercely.

There will be days (many I’m sure), where I fall short when it comes to loving myself. Where I beat myself up for eating ALL of the french fries, or for not working out, or what have you. And on those days, that’s when I desperately need to lay it all down to the Lord. That’s when I will teach my girl that we will fall & that we will have dark days, but that the Lord is ALWAYS there for us. That He is ALWAYS there to remind us of the strength we have through Him.

The other morning while I was reading my devotional, I stumbled across this quote & I think it fits perfectly with this topic.

“God made you on purpose and unique. God has called you to be brave. And God will equip you to it.”

-Annie Downs, 100 Days to Brave

Like how does that not just punch you straight in the gut? God took the time out of His busy schedule to make me, to think about every part of my being, to handpick the laugh I would have, or the way my nose sits on my face. Nothing about me is a mistake, because I was made by God. Whoa….letting that one sink it for a second.

All of this to say…I want to instill & equip Quincy with the confidence to know that no part of her is wrong, no part of her is a mistake & no part of her isn’t perfectly her. And on those days when she feels bad about herself, that she can hand it to the Lord & He will carry that burden for her. He’s pretty awesome in that way.

Thanks for stopping by, friends!

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