Vicious Cycle: I’m Too Busy

“I don’t say no because I’m so busy. I say no because I don’t want to be so busy.” – Courtney Carver,

Anyone else think, “I’ll get around to this or that once life slows down a bit. Things are just too crazy right now.” Six months later and you still haven’t done this or that and life is still busy as all get out. Yeah…that’s honestly my life in a nutshell.

In the past, I’ve had a hard time saying no to things, mostly because Jordan and I have liked keeping busy. But I ALSO really like taking some time to relax & recharge. Within the past year, having a kid has really taught me how to SLOW it down. Most days I still feel like we’re running around with our heads cut off, but we’ve come a long way since Quincy Rose joined our family.

Whenever I start to feel overwhelmed, I try one of these 3 things to help recenter & find my inner Unagi (shout out to Ross Gellar).

#1 Date My Husband

It never fails, when our schedules are PACKED with events, birthday parties, happy hours, weddings, trips, you name it- it’s usually the time when I feel the most disconnected from Jordan. He laughs because I whine that we haven’t spent any time together even though we live with each other & have been together from sun up to sun down. But what I REALLY mean is, we haven’t spent any quality time together.

When we get to this place, we immediately will figure out some time for us to spend just the two of us. No friends, no family, most times not even Quincy (as much as it breaks my heart). But I know how important it is for Jordan and me to have intentional quality time together in order for me to be the best wife, mama, and human in general.

It doesn’t have to be anything grand either! We’ll grab a bite to eat, go see a movie, hold hands in the car, go for a walk (that’s a rare one) or one of my favorites, get a pedicure! If we can’t or don’t want to get a babysitter, we’ll do something together after Q goes to bed. Snuggle on the couch & watch a movie, play a card game or fill out a page in an activity book like this one: Me, You, Us.

Bottom line: We have to make time for just US! (also, apparently, we like to take selfies)

#2 Unplug

Has anyone ever looked on their phone at how much time they spend on their apps? YIKES! I’ve done it & let me tell you, holy Moses it was concerning to say the least.

Sometimes I’ll turn off my phone or leave it in another room so I’m not tempted to mindlessly scroll for hours on ends. I find that when I put down my phone, hide the remote and put away my laptop, I have loads more time to, wait for it…Read. A. Book. Not on an iPad or a Kindle, but like an actual book with words printed on pages and bound together by a cover.

I have ALWAYS loved reading, ever since I was little & even now, it is such a great way for me to unwind & recenter. If reading isn’t your thing, maybe try a puzzle or another hands on activity like cross stitching (yes, you read that right). Or you could always try journaling…which, oddly enough brings me to my next point.

Bottom line: Set down the technology & walk away…and read the entire Harry Potter series multiple times.

#3 Self Care

I’ll be the first to admit it, this one I really struggle with. I can think of a MILLION things to do before I think of one thing to do for myself. I should really meal plan, run to the grocery store, run another load of laundry, because let’s be honest, that NEVER ends. Or I should really vacuum, dust, mop, clean out the bajillion clothes in my closet that I don’t wear. I could go roam the aisles of Target, blackout & come home with bags of candles for every freaking season.

When in the back of my head, like way far back in the black abyss of my brain, I know I should be taking some time for myself. Like any good dating profile says, I love long walks on the beach, appreciate a good fine wine & won’t say no to a nice long pedicure (see point #1).

I’ve recently started taking up journaling again. And by again, I mean I haven’t seriously journaled since my journal was called a diary. Oy vey. Those were the days. There’s something so cathartic about writing down the crazy thoughts that circle my brain. Even if it’s just one thought a day, it’s helpful to get things out when I spend the majority of my day trying to keep things in.

Bottom line: A thought a day (might possibly) keep the voices in my head at bay.

Long story, not so short…while the world glorifies a busy & jam-packed lifestyle, I think I’m going to take another route in life. I think I’ll try slowing things down a bit. I’ll make more of an effort to be intentional about my time with those that are special to me. I’ll remember to take care of myself so that I can love on others!

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