Are there other moms, dads, parents out there who feel like their toddlers are out to get them? I’m half kidding half serious. It’s not often I stay up past 10pm; partially because I’m 17 weeks pregnant & partially because I’m old. On the rare & I mean REALLY rare occasion I’m up past 10:05pm, it’s like some internal notification alerts my toddler that I’m already going to get a crappy night of sleep so why not wake me up multiple times throughout the night? Why not cry until mom gets out of bed once, twice, three times? Why not pretend to go back to sleep just long enough so mom & dad can slightly fall back asleep, only to start crying again? Why not use my whines to force mom to the basement & when she does go down there for some peace & quiet whine even LOUDER so she has to walk back up two flights of stairs to calm me back down?
Oy vey…tonight is rough. I already know tomorrow morning is going to be….woof.
I’m writing this at 1:54am on a notepad on my phone because it feels like tonight is the world’s cosmic joke on me. Like the world is saying, “You’re a mom…did you really think your toddler was going to sleep through the night when you chose to stay up late watching the Bachelor?” Jokes on me folks, jolks on me….also, I’m leaving that typo in here to show the state of my delirium at this point in time.
All tough nights of sleep aside, my heart can’t help but melt when I hear her crying for “mama” because for the last few months everything has been “daddy”. So while tonight’s sleep is mostly shot, I’m going to revel (albeit, deliriously tired) in the fact that there are moments when my little girl only wants me. Only needs me. Cries out in the middle night for me. Because I’m her mama & even though it might take 15 tries, I make things better.
Babies grow too quickly & she’s becoming more & more independent each day. I want to hold on & cherish these sleepless nights because there’s going to be a point in time when my sleepless nights aren’t filled with thoughts of “Jesus, please help my baby sleep so I can sleep!” But they’ll be filled with thoughts of “Jesus, please watch over my baby while she’s out with her friends.” or “Jesus, please protect my baby because right now she’s out past curfew & I’m worried sick.”
I know she won’t stay little forever, but she’ll always be my baby & I’ll always love her more than my heart can contain. It’s so true what they say when you become a parent, your heart is living outside of your body.
& with that…she’s been asleep (or at least quiet) for a whopping 5 minutes consecutively so I’m going to try & get at least 4 hours of sleep. Thanks for listening to the ramblings of a tired & pregnant mama. I know there are others out there who have been in the same exhausted place as me
Thanks for stopping by, friends!
Disclaimer: This article includes photos of what a sleeping angel toddler looks like…not what our current state is…