Tonight was a little bit of a rough night…I got home from work later than I was hoping & then it took us another 30ish minutes to get dinner together & Quincy was pretty much inconsolable the entire time. It wasn’t a steady stream of crying/whining, but it was enough that I got fed up with it.
I almost always immediately feel bad as soon as I get frustrated with her because I know that she’s just a 2-year old & she can’t properly communicate to me what’s going on, but even with that in the back of my mind, I fall short & I fall short CONSTANTLY!
After bath & an early bedtime, I sat down to write in her journal. Jordan and I started writing in a journal for her the moment we found out we were pregnant. I wouldn’t typically share the things I write in there because my intentions are to keep these journals as something special & sacred for just her. I like to think she’ll read them when she’s older, or when she becomes a mom & struggles with the same things I did. Or maybe even one day when Jordan and I are no longer here. Morbid? Maybe…but I think she’ll appreciate them!
You are the true definition of sweet & spicy! It never fails to amaze me how you can go from crying your head off & inconsolable to smiling & laughing while the last few tears stream down your face.
In those exhausting moments when you can’t explain to me what’s wrong, when the only way for you to express your emotions is through tears & screams, please forgive me.
Forgive me for losing my patience & not holding you until you’ve calmed down.
Forgive me for when I scream back or lose my temper.
Forgive me for causing more chaos, rather than calming your storm.
There will be days, many I’m sure, where I’ll fall short as a mom. But know that for every time I fall short, that I love you a million times more.
I love you more than the stars in the sky.
I love you more than the number of toddler tantrums you’ll throw.
And I certainly love you more than the number of high school fights I’m sure we’ll have.
I love you more than anything, more than myself.
I’ll never be able to put into words the depth, width & breadth of my love for you. So just remember, when I fall short & my emotions get the best of me – I love you more times than you’ll ever be able to count.
You are my sunshine & will be my baby forever.
Thanks for stopping by, friends!
Photo credit to the freaking talented, amazing & nicest human on the planet, Ben Ramos.
One thought on “Please Forgive Me”
Sometimes the best part is they don’t remember much of age two at all, except the security they feel when they have us one on one for the most important moments. You kids are amazing, loving parents who put so much into these babies that they couldn’t be more blessed. What a wonderful legacy you are leaving them by recording all your precious moments, trials and errors. Whether or not the Lord allows you to see the next generation or two is unknown, but i do know that had I too had loving parents to leave me a step by step book on how they got through each moment, had they loved me as you love your children, I would have been blessed beyond all measure. There are no perfect parents just parents who love their children and sacrifice to give them Salvation, security and love and the ones who choose not to love. You are doing an amazing job. I love you all dearly and hope you know that I enjoy each and every blog. God Bless and have a beautiful evening. Love Rachelle Fitzgerald