Disclaimer – Receiving Gifts is my dead last Love Language, but that’s not to say that I don’t love a thoughtful gift! My husband purchased this set of custom rings as a Mother’s Day gift & I wear them EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Our wedding anniversary & our little girl’s name – these hold such a special place in my heart!
You know that saying, “It’s the thought that counts!” I know I’ve used it a handful of times when I’ve sincerely thought about getting someone a gift & then it completely slipped my mind or…I just get too lazy to run to the store & grab something. Don’t give me that judgey look – we’ve all been there!
Well for people who’s Love Language is Receiving Gifts, while I’m sure they appreciate the thought, they most DEFINITELY appreciate the gift. Now, I don’t want to mislead anyone, because people whose primary Love Language is gifts, doesn’t make them materialistic. Rather, I think it makes them sentimental.
I guarantee you, at least everyone reading this (all 5 of you, anyway) has a token or memento that carries significant weight or meaning to them. Whether it’s an old handkerchief from a great great grandmother (guilty) or a pendant necklace from a grandmother (also guilty) or their childhood teddy bear (yup…guilty again) – we all have material items that memories are tied to. Keeping these items doesn’t make us materialistic, although it might make us hoarders (that’s an entirely DIFFERENT blog topic- but make sure to check out the Netflix series, Tidying Up to see if what you’re holding on to really sparks joy or not), rather it makes us sentimental. And I think there’s a sentimental person inside all of us. My husband might disagree, but he’s also the one who told me I’m not allowed to throw out any of his Beanie Babies or comic books from childhood sooooo….
A Reminder of Love
That necklace I mentioned earlier, that was my Grammy’s necklace. She was kind enough to let me use it as my “something borrowed” when I got married & I had the florist incorporate it into my wedding bouquet. I’ll never forget the moment I showed it to her on my wedding day. Her eyes lit up & she had the biggest grin on her sweet face. Just thinking about it fills me up with so much love!
After she passed away, my Papou (grandpa in Greek) gave it to me. While I don’t wear it, I do have it stored safely in a jewelry box on my nightstand. The memory of sharing that moment with her on such a big day in my life – that’s why I keep it. Because that small necklace is a reminder of her, her love & all of the memories I have with her.
Gotta spend money to make money, right? Okay, well…that saying doesn’t REALLY apply here. It’s more like “You gotta invest in your spouse’s Love Language in order to build a stronger marriage” – but that just doesn’t have the same ring to it.
I know for some people, this Love Language can be a real struggle. If you’re an avid saver & spending money on gifts seems frivolous, you’ll want to look at it from a different angle. While you might think buying flowers is dumb because they die a week later…it also may REALLY make your wife’s day & fill up her emotional love tank. Like all of the other Love Languages have pointed out, this book is teaching us how to show up for our partners. It’s not how to make the marriage all about us & what we’re comfortable with. It’s about YOUR SPOUSE!
The Gift of Self
Being present in your spouse’s life is just as important to them as a material gift. This seemed a bit strange to me at first. I always thought a person who’s Love Language is Receiving Gifts, would want well…GIFTS! But Dr. Chapman explains how the spouse’s body & physical presence is the symbol of love that this person needs & craves – especially during times of need.
One thing that Dr. Chapman notes that I think is DEFINITELY worth mentioning. If your spouse’s presence is important to you, VOICE IT! Do not expect them to read your mind. Doing that is not only unfair to them, but it will ultimately leave you disappointed, frustrated & hurt. And nobody wants that!
Tidbits if Your Spouse’s Love Language is Receiving Gifts*
*For the most part, I’m summarizing what they say in the book. If you want more in-depth examples, get yourself a copy!
- In our house, I’m big on celebrating a birthday WEEK! So for your spouse’s birthday or your anniversary, see if you can come up with little gifts to give them for an entire week leading up to the big day!
- Be creative – look to nature! If you see something while you’re on a walk, grab it & attach a special meaning to it. Like Bette Midler says, “You’re the wind beneath my wings”
- Handmade gifts go SUCH a long way in our house! And it may be something that gets passed down from generation to generation.
- If money is tight, which we can definitely relate to, do a little dreaming together. Look through magazines or Pinterest & “plan” an exotic trip or what your dream home would look like.
- Do your homework! How many times have you heard your spouse say, “I would love to have one of those” or “I’ve always wanted this, but would never buy it for myself.” Make notes of those things in a journal & when you get stumped for a gift, refer back to what you wrote down. If you REALLY listen, you’ll have a giant list of things in no time.
- If you are just really stuck on what to do, reach out to a family friend or family member. I guarantee you they’d love to help out, especially since you’ll be footing the bill!
- Presence – not just presents.
- Read a book together! I’ve been wanting Jordan and me to do this devotional for years. Maybe we’ll finally do that this year & it can count towards one of our 12-books for our New Year’s Resolution!
- Make a donation in your spouse’s name to their favorite charity or organization. Check to see if the charity will send your spouse a note showing the tribute, too!
I sincerely hope you all are enjoying these articles! This book has been SO incredibly insightful for me & I love being able to share it with all of you! And BIG NEWS – I’ll be doing a giveaway on my Instagram & Facebook later this week. Make sure you’re following me on both accounts so you can participate.
Words of Affirmation Blog
Quality Time Blog
Rise Together Podcast with Dr. Gary Chapman
3 thoughts on “Love Languages: Receiving Gifts”